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18.0k

AITA for being mad at my wife for dumpster diving?

18.0k

AITA for being mad at my wife for dumpster diving?

Hi everyone, I’d like some input.

My wife and I struggle to make ends meet. We strictly budget everything down to the dollar, without a lot of wiggle room. This includes our groceries, which we have a set $ amount we spend, no more.

Recently our DD dropped the milk and spilled it. It was 5 days to payday and we’d already done our grocery shopping. My wife said she’d figure it out. I know she has a little money stashed for herself that she’s gotten from selling some of her clothes recently, so when she came home with milk and a bag of chips for the kids as a treat, I figured she must have decided to dip into that. Boy was I wrong.

The next week I noticed our food was a little...higher quality. A couple of brand name things, even a roast on Sunday with asparagus. I figured she must have gotten some killer deals, but when I asked she said “oh no, I found a bunch of money off coupons.” Then she showed a few to me.

They were those “Earn 0.07$ a gallon” receipts you get at the gas station. She had gone there and dug through the garbage! She said she got about 5$ worth of these receipts the first time when we needed milk, and went back the next week for more, netting about 30$ total.

I was speechless. I asked her how she could lower herself like that. She replied that she did it for our kids. When I asked why she didn’t use her money she had saved, she said it was hers and she was saving it for something special.

I’m so disgusted guys. I can’t believe she did this. I don’t even want to look at her. She on the other hand is mad at me, and says I’m an asshole for being mad, and for expecting her to use her saved money instead. AITA for expecting my wife NOT to dumpster dive?

Edit: OK! I am definitely the asshole. After reading all of your comments, I really thought about it. I talked to my wife, and told her I was sorry for the way I acted. She is annoyed but willing to forgive me. I was actually mad at myself. The reason we are struggling is because I was in an accident a few months ago. I slid through a stop light on an icy road. It has permanently affected my ability to work in the trade I’ve worked in for 15 years. I’m on disability through my employer but it isn’t even half of what I used to make. We are getting by, but it is tight. And I don’t know what we are going to do when it runs out. My wife is stretching every dollar (she takes care of the finances). I guess I was just mad at myself because I can’t take care of my family anymore, and lashed out. I’m going to give her a foot rub tonight. Thanks for the honesty guys.

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Automation EnthusiastModerator of r/AmItheAsshole, speaking officiallyScore hidden · 4 months ago · Stickied comment

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11 more replies

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Colo-rectal Surgeon [43]25.8k points · 4 months ago · edited 4 months ago
Platinum2Gold2Silver5

YTA in a major way. There’s nothing low about dumpster diving to get coupons to feed your children. Swallow your fucking pride, man. Your children come long before your sense of superiority that “oh at least I don’t sink that low”. Welcome to the real world.

EDIT: Thanks for the silver, person!

level 2
[deleted]
10.4k points · 4 months ago

If anything I would be proud that my SO was strong enough to put her ego aside for her children.

level 2
Partassipant [1]2.5k points · 4 months ago

When I first started reading I thought she had brought home expired food... then he mentioned the quality, and I was trying thi figure out how she stole a gallon of milk... then it turns out to be coupons? For christ sake if I saw a coupon I could use in a trash can, I'd have no issues taking it. Not to mention your point, how she's willing to do what needs to be done for her kids...

OP. YTA.

level 2
Asshole Enthusiast [7]1.9k points · 4 months ago

Swallow your fucking pride, man

Or channel that pride and make some more money. Harsh but...I mean it seems like a pretty dire situation financially.

level 2
806 points · 4 months ago

Can you imagine the sheer audacity to be mad at someone for saving money, getting your family fed (on healthier food than a lower budget allows) and by doing something that's not illegal, just a little "icky?"

level 2
728 points · 4 months ago · edited 4 months ago
GoldSilver

This!!! While it's not....... Ideal to swim through garbage she's will to do whatever it takes to keep the family fed and going. She's a Ride or Die Chick.

Some Other Women would have abandoned the family and bail along time ago the moment shit starts to get messy. OP should stick on to this woman like White on Rice. She's a keeper.

Also your silver does nothing. :)

Edit: thanks for the gold & silver!!!! 😍

level 2
396 points · 4 months ago

Feeding the children goes before any sort of pride. I would understand if OP's rationale for not wanting his wife dumpster diving was because of safety reasons (e.g. contact with needles), but he was just embarrassed for her.

level 2

My wife found a TV dumpster diving around college town. In fact, some of my furniture is from dumpster diving.

level 2
Comment deleted by user4 months ago
level 2
149 points · 4 months ago

Right?? This lady is sort of my hero honestly.

level 2
Asshole Aficionado [11]38 points · 4 months ago

A silver just shows up on a comment, but it still costs coins, btw.

level 2

Pretty sure silver doesn't actually do anything apart from showing up on this comment.

I got gifted one the other day and reddit still functions exactly the same, ads and all

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