Hello assholes, judges, and excretioners! I am super excited to see that we have one million subscribers! This subreddit is truly amazing, and the growth we've experienced in the last year is outstanding... over 1400%! We have all of you to thank for that, and we're excited to continue making this a great home for all your arbitration needs. This is a longer post, so here is a summary of topics we'll cover here.
Rule 1 Reminder
Locked Posts explanation
New Feature: Community Awards
User Flair Update
Many moons ago, our dear leader and founder /u/flignir had hoped to settle a petty dispute over office air conditioning. He attempted to obtain guidance, and he prayed to the Old Gods and the New. Alas, he could not find his path forward. He was a lost soul, forever questioning his very sanity. But /u/flignir was not weak. For you see, he held the Power of the Sphincter, a power so great that most cannot even understand. With a swift click, he created the community you see today. And he received his guidance. Today, he uses that same power and shares it with the rest of us common folk. We all hold the Power of the Sphincter, and with it, we shall judge.
I will try to keep it very short so as to not bore anyone. About six months or so ago my grandpa died. For simplicity sake, let’s say hi estate is worth about $1.5 million. In his will he said that me, my sister and my cousin each get 1/3 share. His estate was basically two cash amounts and the other share was his beach home in California. Basically the oldest got to pick which they wanted, the second oldest and the youngest which was me. M
I got the beach house, my sister and cousin got $500k. For the last six months I’ve allowed my sister to stay in the house whenever she likes but I just got my first tax bill and I either have to sell it or start making some income off it. After talking to the real estate agent I’ve decided the best course of action is to put it on Airbnb. That way I can still use it if I like, but sister can pay me to use it if she still wants to go there, basically there’s not someone renting full-time.
My sister is furious with me for so many reasons, first of all I know she’s upset because she can no longer use the house for free. But she’s also telling me that I basically becoming a rent seeking capitalist who is going to ruin the neighborhood which has been a total classic surf neighborhood since the 1950s. She has written me angry email after angry email after angry email calling me all sorts of names. She also says it’s not fair because her inheritance is gone for her debts but I still make money from mine, and that if she had chose the house I could stay there any time I want. She’s my older sister and I’ve always been impressionable to the things she says to me and I’m feeling a lot of guilt and shame for what she told me. Am I the asshole here?
I’m a 23 year old Brit visiting some American buddies studying abroad in the US, and we figure we’d go clubbing after some drinks at a local bar.
However, I’m refused entry for a ‘suspicious’ ID - it was my British passport. Apparently, you had to have state issued ID (ridiculous, how do tourists get in anywhere then?) Apparently they guys at the door couldn’t tell if mine was fake or not so they said it wasn’t good enough (though it was plenty good enough for the very strict American border).
What drove me to complain though was the fact they said I didn’t look British (I’m of Indian origin) and they started staying how my English, RP accent was clearly put on.
I wrote an email and left a public review on the bar’s pages naming the employees (they had name tags on). My friend back home said that I went too far, and it could cost the bouncer guys their jobs. I think that they weren’t doing their jobs well regardless so I wasn’t too bothered.
I work at a small tech company where it's basically split between designers and project managers. I'm the admin assistant, so I do a little bit of everything until we find out what I'm good at. The others in the company come from much different experiences and life backgrounds than me. On the PM side, it's mostly women, and they love to talk about all the things they buy, travel, etc.
One of them pulled me into a conversation about travel and said we should all bring in passports to compare places we've been. I said "Oh, I've never had a passport." She was shocked, asked me why not. I just said "Oh, I can't really afford to travel." She looked confused and asked about when I was growing up, where would we go on family vacations. I said we didn't and changed the subject. She kept looking at me weird after that.
Then came the purse thing. I've carried the same bag with me for about 6 years. One of the girls laughed at a fraying strap and said it was time for a new one, and suggested this brand I'd never heard of that kind of matched the style. I looked it up and said "That's a really nice one! But wow, $150 for a purse!" She looked at me funny and said "Do you think that's a lot...?" I said yes, that's basically two weeks groceries for me. She was very taken aback.
The "inciting" incident happened last week. One of the women recently started the process of buying a house. She's really excited and got her a nice candle. One of the women said that I was next, and I just said "Haha, yeah right!" One of the women asked when I thought I'd start looking, and I was honest and said that I don't really see home ownership as a part of my life. They were all shocked and kept trying to tell me why I was wrong, and I admit I got a little annoyed when they wouldn't drop it. I said "With what money?"
It got awkward after that, and the next day one of the women pulled me aside and told me that they're sick of the way I always have to be a downer about money, and that I always make it awkward when I talk about what I can't afford. I said "Well, how do you think it makes me feel to have you guys constantly flaunting all the purses and high end makeup and designer clothes you're wearing." She said that they were bonding, that's what women do, and that from now on, I should try to be more discrete about the income disparity between us.
I said "Sure, if you guys will be, so will I." She gave me a look and said that I'm acting kind of like an asshole and punishing them for something that's not their fault. I told her that she was certainly entitled to that opinion, but that I think it's tacky to brag about all of the lavish things you can buy. She got pretty upset at that and now just one of the PM girls talks to me. AITA?
This happened about 30 minutes ago.
I was driving home with a friend. We were coming up to a roundabout that was clear from my side. As I was passing over, a woman came speeding past from the left, causing me to have to slow down substantially in the middle of the roundabout.
She was on her phone, holding it by her head with her elbow resting on the open window, speaking into it. I blasted my horn at her, a slight bit of road rage sure, but this startled her and caused her to drop her phone out the car window.
I don’t know what happened after that, but it’s a busy roundabout so I doubt she was able to retrieve it before it was smashed into a million pieces. The person I was driving with blasted me, saying I shouldn’t have done that and I was an asshole for causing the destruction of what was presumably an expensive phone. I disagree, play stupid games win stupid prizes and all that. But, my friend is insistent that I was an asshole.
EDIT: women to woman.
EDIT: okay holy shit this blew up. I can’t read through all the comments, so I’ll just try clear up a couple things.
This is in England, we give way to the right and not the left. The roundabout was a 2 lane on a busy street, no pedestrian access.
For those saying obviously NTA, karma whoring etc - I get it. If I could lock this post now I would. However, there’s been quite a few ESH’s and YTA’s with good points, and I’m now thinking whilst NTA feels good, and there is a sense of instant karma, ESH is probably more appropriate. I shouldn’t have blazed my horn, it wasn’t really an emergency, and in doing so I could’ve caused a worse accident.
Some people don’t seem to understand how roundabouts in England work. To try clear things up, I’ve drawn the worlds worst diagram.
My biological father was never a huge part of my life. He left my mom when I was 2 and I barely saw him after that until I was almost a teenager, when he remarried. During that time, my mom got remarried and I consider my step-dad, my dad. He raised me. Even though my bio dad was in my life, he wasn’t great and my step-dad was the guy I went to and he took care of me, did all the stuff a dad is supposed to. I even ended up going by his last name, calling him “dad” and legally changing my last name when I was able to. My biological dad never cared about any of this, actually. It was his side of the family (his parents, mainly) that kicked up a fuss. They were always in my life and knew he was a loser, but still hated what I was doing. I mostly ignored them.
Now, I’m an adult and am getting married. My biological dad is going to be attending the wedding, but he’s not doing any of the typical father of the bride stuff, my step-dad is. He didn’t speak any disappointment to me about it. However, I guess he did to his parents because my biological paternal grandmother came to me. She said I should split the father of the bride duties, between my two dads. I said, honestly, I don’t have two dads. My biological father contributed to me being alive, but he barely did anything for me after that. We have an okay relationship now but we’re not really father/daughter. My grandmother suggested they both walk me down the aisle and I have two father/daughter dances. I said I don’t feel that my biological father deserves the honor.
Now, my biological paternal grandparents do not want to attend the wedding and have said that until I “grow up”, they will not. A few other members on that side are not either. I asked my biological father how he felt. He said that he didn’t expect for things to blow up the way he did, but he has a lot of regrets and it hurts, but he also knows he has no rights to expect anything from me.
Am I being an ass here?
So my partner and I were at the Versailles Palace today. It was fantastic, great views, great history. Started their around 9 am and didn’t leave until 7 pm so it was a pretty long day. At the end of the day, we had lined up behind a few other couples taking pictures outside the golden gates. We were patiently waiting our turn to take our pictures when another couple decided to just barge on in, cutting off everyone who had been waiting. I’ll admit I was rather tired by this point and couldn’t believe they couldn’t wait their turn like everyone else. So I did the first thing that came to mind. I started clapping and cheering really loudly for them as they tried to take their picture with remarks such as “Way to go!” and “You cut that line!” and “so smart you skipped kindergarten!” Well, they did not like that and left pretty quickly after snapping a few pics. A few of the other couples who were waiting patiently had a good laugh and I thought I had come up with the best Defense against line cutters.
Now my partner thinks I over reacted and was an asshole. I think they were the assholes because they literally pushed their way into someone else’s photo just to get theirs - instead of waiting like the other five couples there.
So what do you think reddit? AITA or can we all get behind this new social pressure to point out when people are not using their common courtesy?
EDIT: Well, it’s 10:56 pm and we have another full day of museums tomorrow so I desperately need sleep. As of now, 99% of you beautiful bastards have said I’m not the asshole and I got to say - that makes me feel a lot better. I pray that none of you will be skipped in line any time soon and that everyone who took the time to respond has a great day/evening/sleep ~ Cheers everyone!
This happened several months ago, was speaking about it to a friend so wondering whether I was the AH.
I (20M) in college. Several months ago a student group on the campus was doing some protest regarding sexism or something, some activist crap like that. I'm not politically involved in anything, doesn't interest me. I just go to class, party and work out.
So I was walking to class one day and this protest was blocking my way to class. They were physically blocking people from going to class. I try going another way and there's a protester there, who looks to be about 19 year old dude.
I tell him ''Get out of my way, I'm going to class'' and he starts rambling incoherently about whatever the fuck it is he's protesting. I say it again and he says ''No'' and starts rambling.
I just look him in the eye and say ''Dude, get the fuck out of the way. NOW, or I will call the cops''. He looks a bit scared, at that point I knew this kid didn't know jack shit about anything, was frightened at the mention of cops. He gets out of my way and I go to class. No issue.
Now yesterday I was talking to a friend (20F) about this and she called me out for being an asshole. She said I shouldn't have done that as these issues are important. I said I don't give a fuck, my parents are paying for me to go to class and that's what I'm going to do. AITA?
Edit - people bringing up my race, not sure why its relevant. I'm an Asian male, if that makes any difference. I got to College to study as my #1 priority and I hold a 4.0 GPA. The little free time I do have, is either on working out (to relieve stress) or partying (to have fun).
Edit #2 - Wow nearly 2000 comments....seems like there's a strong NTA consensus. Thank you Reddit and double thanks for Gold. I will try to read as many comments as I can.
Judging you right now
A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole.